another moral hangover. fuck.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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