i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
