rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
