Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
