We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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