the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
