Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
