In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
