Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
