trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
