Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
