my mouth tastes like poor choices
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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