Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it was like eating out sand paper
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
bring money and cleavage
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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