No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
