The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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