I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
