Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
