remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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