I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
