Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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