you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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