in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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