i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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