just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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