can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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