oh god the rape fog is back!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So much rum. So many feels.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
