do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
