woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Mom said you looked used
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
