I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
