He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
