This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
