I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
