I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
