we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
