What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
