Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
