i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
