his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
