So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
