New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
