I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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