it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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