My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
