like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
