She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
