you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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