I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
