omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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