Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
