Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
