So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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