how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
